#37

(Apologies in advance because the spelling checker is refusing to work and I'm in a hurry so you'll have to fight through the bad spellings and typos...I don't even know how to spell 'apologies' -- I seem to remember there being something unusual about it like it maybe only has one 'p' in it despite words like 'appear' having two.. or am I thinking of something else...hmmm)

It's 10:28pm (19th Dec) and I've just been on a walk to stretch my legs. I walk along a few streets which are a bit more secluded and less urban than most around where I live, they include a stretch along side a grave yard and some quiet back streets that may only see a moving car every ten minutes. I go walking at night when it's dark... for a number of reasons -- one because the air is so much fresher-- you can really enjoy those deep breaths, there being not so much diesel soot and general pollution in the air, and every thing is much more peaceful too -- most conducive to the art of contemplation. Also at this time of year you get a bit of a preview at some early Christmas lights put-up by outward thinking folk in their gardens, front windows or under their eves. One thing that hath no lights however is the typical stealth cyclist which I usually see one of when I take one of these walks... these are people, fools, cycling along the main road at night dressed in very dark, if not black, clothing without any kind of cycle lamp adorning their vehicle what so ever. Even their bike is usually very dark and drab, with mudded-over reflectors...how long can these people live I wonder? This group of people must reproduce early in their life in order to continue their 'death-wish human sub-species' because they surely can't have a life expectancy of much above 22 years... I certainly never see old or even middle aged stealth cyclists. Oh yeah and one more thing .. stealth cyclists never wear helmets either. The stealth cyclist is in stark contrast to the 'pavement cyclist'...the pavement cyclist is almost always cycling along the foot path with bright fully functioning cycle lamps front and rear (usually those attention grabbing flashy ones) merrily luring cars into lamposts on thick foggy nights, and they usually wear bright clothing and a cycle helmet too-- cycling on the pavement is obviouslty just not safe enough for them! If only these two extreme groups could some-how learn from each other. Either of these illegal types of cyclist (which I seem to see more of at night than any other type) would have infuriated my Dad who in his youth was fined for cycling without a lamp. There was obviously zero tolerace on these kind of things pre-war compared to today.

There is anther reason I go for a walk in the dark... it's because there is less chance of meeting people and possibly having to actually talk to them and having to think of something interesting to say which does not come easily to me in the 'off-the-cuff' time-frame due to my very very slow brain... if I do have to suddenly talk to people who I've not expected to meet I can hardly string more than two words together and the other person must go away thinking I'm some kind of uncommunicative retarded fellow (which I am in some respects) ...... and besides, night-time walks are better because there are some people you don't want to meet at all, arn't there? I capitalize on the fact that people are more cautious about making eye contact after dark ( presumably incase you be a hoodlem ) and that there are less people out-and-about to start with ( presumably because they stay indoors lest they meet a hoodlem ) and I walk and think uninhibited, safe from being accosted by one or two of the obligatory annoying people one gets to 'know' when you live in the same area most of your existance. I have in the past been accused of being antisocial and when being accused I have acted all offended, mortified even, and I've insisted that although I may well be unsocialble due to being generally socialy inept, I'm not actually antisocial. "Antisocial!", that's an insult I would protest... however after thinking about the nocturnal timing of my walks, whilst walking tonight's walk: I think probably those accusers perhaps, maybe, have a teeny tiny semi-valid point. I'm a strange mixed-up kind of semi-social animal you see -- I hate big party-like gatherings which consist of a large proportion of strangers, but I'm very susceptable to lonelyness and I don't find it hard to get a-long with people really, infact I love us humans, I think we're ace, a much miss-understood species, I'm far less synical about the human condidtion than most, far, far, less. If you watch the news you'd think all us humans are murderous selfish shallow bastards, but nice ordinary folk just don't get on the news do they? And ordinary people make-up most people. After-all we're the only species proven to exhibit true altruism (although to be fair if your pet cat, for example, were to have altruistic urges how would it put those into action in a way we would recognize?... it's hard to be altruistic without money, hands, speech and a powerful brain and so on -- I mean, they can't reach the charity collection tin can they, nor grip a coin in their furry little paws, the most they can do is leave a dead rat on your mat which cats find to there dismay is a largely unappreciated gesture ). Since all the shit on the news must be caused by such a small proportion of humans then I feel that once we find a cure for the condition of being a sociopath ( which accounts for about 4% of the population ) then this would be a significant improvement in the human condition reducing some of the shit on the news: there would bound to be a drop in pre-meditated murder (where the motive is a selfish one), and there'll be less rape, massacre, torture, explotation etc. I suppose they'd still be as many wars started for reasons of greed, but hopefully a reduction in those started in order to 'wipe the others out' or to ethnically cleanse.

Generally I find I do a lot of thinking on my night-time walks and think-up more things to whinge about, I mean discuss, than I could ever find time to type-up for this blog. I had thought doing this blog would prove therapeutic and that all the thoughts circling in a holding pattern around my brain would come into land in the form of blog entries which would free-up my mind, free it up to do great things great things (some hope), but no, it has not even freed my mind to do things, quite the opposite has happened... I just think of more and more junk, my head's full to bursting now. It hurts. Now I just spend my time trying to keep multiple threads of though going long-enough 'til I can get to my lap top or find a pen and paper. I have a stack of half finished blog entries about all sorts of issues (whether it be atheism, a deep analysis of the microcosm of the film Tron, instructions on how to maintain an organic lawn,or whatever) blog entries that I hurriedly managed to typed-in (or typed-in an instruction to myself to type it in later) before whatever incredibly insightful-ish thought runs-out of fuel and drops-out of it's holding pattern and crashes and burns never to grace my noggin again.